Similar to the depth of my Esther study, this Bible study goes deep into the life of Joseph in the Book of Genesis. Joseph’s biography occupies more space in Genesis than those of Adam, Noah, Abraham, or even his own father, Jacob. Although that should be reason enough to study Joseph’s incredible journey, he experiences family conflict and unfair treatment that many of us can relate to today.
The Story
The story begins with Joseph in the land of Canaan as a seventeen-year-old dreamer—literally. As one of two sons born to Jacob’s favorite wife Rachel, favoritism plays a significant role in the story of Joseph. After all, Jacob had been his mother’s favorite.
In Jacob’s eyes, his son Joseph was the favorite even though he was not the oldest son. Joseph had ten older brothers and one younger brother. Sadly, Joseph’s mother Rachel died giving birth to Benjamin, the youngest son.
God gave Joseph the extraordinary gift of interpreting dreams. However, Joseph had not yet mastered the art of tact, timing, or knowing his audience. When he tells his brothers that one day they will bow to him, it becomes clear that even though Joseph’s gift was intact, he was not able to read a room.
One day, Jacob sends Joseph to check on his brothers who are tending their flocks far away. But Joseph never makes it back home.
The 20-Year Saga
The brothers accost Joseph, strip him of his many-colored coat, and throw him into a waterless pit. They ignore his cries, decide to leave him in the pit to die, and sit down to enjoy lunch together. Then Judah offers up a Plan B to make some extra cash instead.
Then Jacob’s sons (all except Benjamin) agree to pull Joseph out of the pit and sell him to Midianite traders for twenty pieces of silver. They return to their father Jacob and promptly lie about what happened.
Pause a moment. Can you imagine what Joseph is feeling? He is rescued from the pit (yay!) only to be sold for money (what?) by his very own flesh and blood.
The Midianites take Joseph to the land of Egypt. Then Joseph is sold to Potiphar, who holds a significant position in Pharaoh’s Egyptian court, to work as a slave.
As Joseph works diligently in Potiphar’s home, Potiphar’s wife takes notice of Joseph and tries to entice Joseph into sleeping with her. He flees from temptation and her repeated offers, only to be falsely accused and thrown into prison.
Spiritual Bootcamp
And so begins Joseph’s spiritual boot camp which lasted more than twenty years. The amazing truth about God’s spiritual boot camps (basically, our whole life) is that He never leaves us. Ever. God’s faithfulness to us never wavers.
During those twenty years, Joseph oversees Potiphar’s home, eventually oversees the prison into which he was thrown, and interprets four additional dreams along the way. The whole time, the God of Abraham is working in Joseph’s life. Molding. Shaping. Preparing.
Even though Joseph’s brothers stripped him of his coat, they could not strip him of his godly character.
Egypt’s Second in Command
After interpreting Pharaoh’s two confusing dreams, Pharaoh elevates Joseph to the position of second in command over Egypt. In addition, God populated the house of Joseph with a wife and children. A new family. Even though Joseph was far from home, God blessed him in what Joseph referred to as “the land of my affliction.”
Eventually, all of Egypt understood that Joseph’s elevation to prominence was a good thing. Joseph’s diligence and excellent administrative skills successfully navigate Egypt through seven years of famine. His industrious, tireless work ended up providing a multitude of nations with food during the devastating famine.
Forgiveness
Joseph could have easily leveraged his powerful position to retaliate against his older brothers. He could have blamed them for stealing the life he had planned. He could have allowed hate and bitterness to take root in his heart. Instead, Joseph forgave wholeheartedly and embraced reconciliation.
We behold the Gospel story woven like a scarlet thread throughout Joseph’s narrative. The struggles that Joseph endured remind us how vital it is to let God’s love and forgiveness lead us.
Joseph’s story is not a rags-to-riches phenomenon. It is a picture of relentless, God-honoring faith. If you struggle with forgiveness, I wrote an entire Bible study on it here.
For All the History Buffs
If you are a history buff like me, you will devour the historical smorgasbord in Bible study. My previous study on Esther unearthed the nuances and culture of the Persian empire. With Joseph, we dive headlong into ancient Egypt. (Cue the singing of “Walk Like an Egyptian.”)
The study narrows down which pharaoh Joseph would have served under, which then provides the kind of work and tasks Joseph would have performed as vizier (prime minister). Fascinating!
Ancient Egypt
Originally starting out as several independent cities along the Nile River, Egypt was formed from an Upper Egypt and Lower Egypt, which unified around 3100 BC. Egypt was one the largest kingdoms of the ancient world and led the charge regarding cultural and economic influence until it was conquered in 332 B.C. by the Macedonians.
Joseph’s story takes place during the historical time of unified Egypt, which was considered to be one of Egypt’s greatest eras.
Egypt’s Pharaohs
We also study the historical timeline and Egyptian lineage particular to Joseph’s story. We peek into the fascinating world of Egyptian pharaohs. This study pinpoints the precise pharaoh that Joseph would have served under according to historical fact.
This allows us the rare opportunity to discover what that pharaoh focused on and his geopolitical agenda. Consequently, we can ascertain some of the historical responsibilities that Joseph would have been responsible for under that pharaoh’s reign.
Joseph’s Lineage
As one of the sons of Jacob, Joseph’s brothers and Joseph’s sons eventually comprise the twelve tribes of Israel. Joseph did not have his own tribe. There is no tribe of Joseph. However, the sons of Joseph – Ephraim and Manasseh – form the twelfth tribe together as a double portion of God’s blessing to Joseph.
Joseph’s Christ-Like Qualities
In Joseph, we see Christ-like qualities almost unparalleled in the Old Testament (in my opinion). Regardless of his circumstances, Joseph never wavered from following the Lord. He was a diligent worker, faithful witness, and capable administrator.
Joseph’s example issues a challenge even today: Will we choose to become victims of our circumstances and give up or will we trust God to bring beauty from ashes and excel?
Even though God would use Joseph mightily, the learning process was long. That same truth applies to us. It may be a long time before God deems us ready for the tasks He has planned for us. I could not have written in-depth Bible studies twenty years ago. God’s instruction over time has produced a much better vintage.
Purpose for Our Pain
Joseph could have given in to bitterness. Easily. Who would blame him? Yet he responded to broken dreams and difficult circumstances with a strong faith that propelled him from the pit of slavery to the pinnacle of power.
God Almighty diligently prepared Joseph to help Egypt’s great nation survive utter destruction. But that preparation did not come in a safe classroom. Joseph learned and honed his extraordinary administrative gifts in two places he never thought he would be—in slavery and in prison.
We may not be able to see how God is preparing us during our difficult times, but rest assured there is a holy purpose for our pain.
The Bottom Line
Even though Joseph experienced extraordinary hurt and adversity, God’s promise to be with him remained faithful. Joseph endured jealousy and sibling rivalry in his father’s household. He survived mistreatment and a murderous plot by his older brothers. He was thrown into prison for resisting temptation. He could have easily allowed his woes to become his focus.
Instead, Joseph looked up and trusted God. And because of the great faith that God instilled in Joseph, a multitude of people would owe Joseph their lives—literally.
Can you relate to waterless pits and unfairness in your life? This new Bible study is uniquely relevant to our current times.
God uses Joseph’s journey to provide invaluable insights regarding how to live wise, bold journeys of faith—fully trusting Him every single day. May God grant you and me such tenacious faith in Christ Jesus our Lord.
When my ex-husband committed adultery six years into our marriage, I did not tell anyone. I was ashamed that perhaps people would think I was a bad wife. Perhaps I had done something to turn him away. Or the worst, I wasn’t “putting out” enough. In other words, I was blaming myself and absorbing guilt that was not mine.
God did not give human beings the divine power to erase our memories. We cannot forget when someone hurts us, but we still need to walk toward the soul freedom that forgiveness promises. So what can we do to get past the hurt to begin the forgiveness process?
The Unseen Wounds
When you are wronged, you are handed an internal wound. Though unseen, we never forget the pain caused by that wound. The larger the pain, the larger the wound. Some days, I truly felt like I was bleeding out of my skin, but no one knew.
I prayed constantly for God to give me the grace to forgive that adultery. In tears, I often pleaded with God for His healing. For the Holy Spirit to give me the strength to move past that horrific wound. For the courage to be intimate in my marriage again. For trust in my spouse to be repaired.
In His steadfast love, God granted all of those requests and more. Forgiveness flowed, our relationship was repaired, and He pulled our marriage out of the depths of the sea. And even though they had been forgiven, those memories were stored in the hard drives of my mind. Yours are, too.
Seven years later, I discovered my husband’s past sins had resurfaced and he was having multiple affairs, which ultimately ended our marriage. I cannot even fully describe the level of anger, hurt, and unforgiveness that welled up inside me. Past hurts raged to the surface and I knew I needed to seek help for my own sake. I was drowning in emotional pain.
For the first time in my life, I sought Christian counseling. The absolute last thing I needed was for any root of bitterness to take hold. It took a solid year for God’s forgiveness to flow in my heart to move me toward forgiving my ex-husband. I cannot stress strongly enough the importance of forgiveness in order to embrace a new life.
Is Forgetting A Hurt Even Possible?
We’ve all heard the phrase, “If you haven’t forgotten, you haven’t forgiven.” Perhaps you have even said it because I certainly used to. It’s easy to say but impossible to do. While we may be able to forget small slights, we remember life-altering wounds.
On the other hand, remembering certain kinds of hurt is usually beneficial. For instance, I don’t touch hot stoves because I did that once. Lesson learned. Our memory can instruct us on how to avoid similar hurt in the future. It’s those heart hurts caused by unacceptable behavior or harsh words that can trip us up for a very long time.
A Stationary Bicycle Going Nowhere Fast
When we buy into the forgive-and-forget lie, we end up berating ourselves when we remember our wounds. We get frustrated and spend futile time and energy trying to make ourselves forget again. It is a useless, unproductive cycle that only succeeds in embedding the hurt deeper.
Satan loves the forgive-and-forget lie because it wastes our time and energy and always lands us right back where we started: remembering the wound. It’s a stationary bicycle going nowhere fast. There is no solution to the lie of “forgive and forget.” That pot only keeps stirring toxic emotions.
Three Options for Dealing with our Wound
When someone hurts us (wounds us), we have three main options:
1. Hand It Back
When you hand back a wound, it is called revenge. It looks something like this: “You did this to me? Then, this is what I will do to you.” You then throw the wound back at them with a vengeance. Whether verbally or physically, handing the wound back through revenge intends to harm.
2. Internalize or Hide It
This happens when shame plays a part in the wound. Rape victims deal with this because some people still believe the nauseating assumption that somehow the victim invited or deserved it. The victim may hide it to avoid being called loose. Shame is the single biggest factor in hiding a wound.
3. Hand it Up to Jesus
When we hand our wounds up to Jesus Christ, we take them out of circulation. The wounds do not have the opportunity to fester in us or spread to others. Taking the wounds out of circulation stops the cycle. That is how Jesus patterned forgiveness. He felt the wounds, absorbed the pains, and forgave them from the cross. He took them out of circulation for eternity.
When you and I hand up our wounds to Jesus, He renews our strength from the inside out. Right where that wound is hiding. And He faithfully begins to work true forgiveness in us.
Even though you and I cannot forget a wound, we can certainly choose how to deal with the pain of their offense going forward. We can choose options 1 and 2 above and let bitterness sink in, or we can go with option 3 and live in the freedom that forgiveness brings.
Only God Has the Power to Forget
In Hebrews 8, God’s Word says: “For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more” (Hebrews 8:12, ESV). God promises to forget our sins (the precise meaning of which could fill a whole book), but that is an unrealistic standard to put on ourselves. He is God. We are not.
What is the Definition of Forgiveness?
If you asked a dozen people to define forgiveness, you would likely hear twelve different responses. Since Christians are commanded to extend forgiveness, we need to clearly understand what it means.
Webster’s dictionary defines forgiveness as “to excuse a fault or offense; to stop feeling anger or resentment against; and to absolve from payment of.” Excuse and absolve are difficult verbs to swallow in the context of pain. Thankfully, our Heavenly Father provides many Bible verses to navigate the storm. {Download 31-Day Forgiveness Bible Reading Plan}
The Greek word in the New Testament for forgive (aphiēmi) means “to send away.” In Christ Jesus, God packed up our transgressions (which include unforgiveness) and permanently sent them away. In Psalm 103:12, God promises: “As far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us.”
The thing about the east and west is that there is no end. Once you start heading east, you are always heading east until you change directions. Once you journey west, you are always journeying west. By the grace of God, He removes our sins and remembers them no more.
Hate and Love Cannot Coexist
When someone hurts us, God commands us to forgive because hate and bitterness do not line up with His teaching to love. Hate and love cannot coexist. Forgiveness cannot blossom when roots of unforgiveness hide in the soil of our hearts.
Thankfully, God does not simply issue the command to forgive, sit back, and watch us struggle. He provides the Source of power that enables us to fulfill His command. The Apostle Paul wrote: “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20, ESV).
The power of Christ in us enables us to forgive the deepest wounds. Trust me. I have been divorced for twelve years now. Had I refused to let God work His forgiveness in me and then through me, I would be an angry, bitter, hot mess about now. A healed heart is FREEDOM.
Forgiveness is Commanded
Jesus talked about forgiveness more than two dozen times in the Gospels, including a key part of the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:12) and teaching His disciples to forgive others “seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22). He even asked God to forgive those who nailed Him to the cross (Luke 23:34). That includes you and me.
Forgiveness is not God’s suggestion; it is His command: “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Colossians 3:12-13, ESV).
We must also forgive. That’s a hard truth to digest when the mere thought of forgiving your offender makes you sick to your stomach. I certainly did want to forgive my ex-husband. But those negative feelings were toxins in my soul.
It’s amazing how easily we throw around the word forgiveness until we are asked to step forward through the pain and extend it personally. But forgiveness is the only way we will survive bleeding out from the spiritual and emotional wounds caused by the hurtful words and actions of others.
The Cost of Forgiveness
The heart of forgiveness always beats with liberation and freedom. Not necessarily for those who hurt you. But for you. Forgiveness is costly. We struggle not to lash out at those who hurt us. We’re absorbing the debt and cost of the consequences instead of taking it out on the perpetrator. We suffer, and it hurts terribly. Surrendering that pain to God is the only pathway toward healing.
Some people say that it feels like dying. They are not wrong. The cost of forgiveness is death. Death to our desire for revenge. Death to seeking payment for the hurt they caused. The cost of forgiveness is death. Just ask Jesus. He sacrificed His life to forgive us eternally. And His forgiveness leads us to experience a resurrection of new life centered in Him.
So start by asking God for just one small step today on the road toward forgiveness. Tomorrow, ask Him for another small step. The road ends in the death of bitterness and resurrection to life. The dead-end road ends at Calvary.
Does Forgiveness Condone Their Hurtful Actions?
The hardest struggle we face in extending forgiveness is falsely believing that we are somehow condoning their actions. That lie comes straight from the devil. The enemy loves weaving a web of toxicity around that lie because we want those who hurt us to pay for their transgressions.
Forgiveness does not mean condoning someone’s bad behavior. It means releasing their judgment and consequences to God.
As God faithfully opens doors for me to travel and speak with groups of women all over the country, I have discovered that forgiveness is often misunderstood. Some believe that forgiveness should only be extended when their perpetrator asks for it. Or when they have groveled enough. But when is enough enough? Your pain cannot be undone, only surrendered to God.
Others believe that forgiveness means you must reconcile with the person who hurt you and go skipping through the tulip fields into the sunset together. Neither could be further from the truth. In order to extend forgiveness, we need to clearly understand what it is not.
What Forgiveness is NOT
Forgiveness Is Not Excusing a Sin or Crime
This is one of the most common objections to extending forgiveness. Many people often equate forgiveness with letting someone off the hook; like somehow forgiveness approves what they did because we didn’t force them to make it right. But that’s not what forgiveness means.
For instance, a rape victim suffers horrible atrocities, and there are legal consequences for the violator. The victim can forgive her attacker yet still follow the legal process to take the proper course for her attacker to reap the punishment for his actions.
Sin is not okay. It can be forgiven, but it should not be excused. By God’s grace, we become wiser regarding future interactions with that person.
Forgiveness Is Different from Reconciliation
Forgiveness takes one. It is extended from one individual to another and released. Reconciliation takes two people who agree to set aside past hurtful behavior, communicate to repair the relationship, and move forward together.
I realized that reconciliation for my marriage was not possible due to the kind of women with whom my ex-husband was involved. If we had reconciled and continued in our marriage, I stood a very real chance of contracting HPV, HIV, or AIDS. My ex-husband was a habitual adulterer, so reconciling and remaining married would have placed my health (and ultimately my life) in danger.
In situations where habitual abuse (whether physical or verbal) has occurred, reconciliation may not be possible because safe mental and physical boundaries must be established. But forgiveness is still commanded.
Forgiveness Is Not about Justice or Consequences
Forgiveness does not obligate the forgiver to protect the offender from reaping the consequences of his or her actions. Consequences are usually what it takes for offenders to change their behavior. If their actions have broken the law (rape, harming a child, etc.), we can and should follow through with appropriate legal action.
To prevent a perpetrator from raping again, testifying at trial is certainly appropriate. There are always consequences for sin, but exacting the consequences of their actions is God’s job, not ours. He alone calls unrepentant sinners to answer for their actions. Even in such extreme circumstances when reconciliation is not possible, we still move toward forgiveness.
Forgiveness Is Not about the Offender
It is not our job to determine whether someone deserves forgiveness of sins. God never tells us in His Word to extend it only when the offender begs for it. Some people hold grudges and stay angry until they believe their offender has suffered enough. But how do we determine when enough is enough?
Hate and anger have consuming power, and those toxins can control and define us. When we allow unforgiveness to consume us, the object of our wrath actually has control over us. It can keep our hearts dangling over the fire, so to speak.
We are washed clean by baptismal grace; therefore, our merciful God does not withhold forgiveness from us—and we are to follow His lead. Forgiving others as God has forgiven us means that we are obeying God’s command. Yet forgiveness is also a gift to ourselves of a life free from bitterness and anger.
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality” (Colossians 3:23–25, ESV).
Did you notice that the Lord is the focus of those verses? The Lord handles the wrongs done to us as we heartily serve Him.
Forgiveness Is Not Artificial Nonchalance
Have you ever tried to pretend someone’s actions or words did not hurt you? Me too. But when I remember that hurt for the tenth time in an hour, I cannot keep pretending. Pretending there is nothing to forgive results in anger and resentment down the road.
What we harbor internally eventually surfaces externally. Forgiveness means we acknowledge the hurtful actions or words, pray for God to provide insight on how best to convey them gracefully to the offender, and allow God to move us toward Him for healing.
Forgiveness Is Not Avoidance
Some people believe that out of sight means out of mind. As long as we avoid our offenders, everything will be just fine. Although that person may not be around, the hurt they inflicted remains. It must be acknowledged, grieved, and forgiven.
Forgiveness Is Not Easy
It’s just not. It takes time. If the wound is deep, it may take a long time. That one year of post-divorce counseling felt like a lifetime. But focusing our energy and time on moving toward forgiveness means embracing our future free from the bondage of vengeful toxins.
We can confidently count on God’s outrageous faithfulness to us. Yesterday is over. Your future lies ahead. God provides peace of mind right alongside our fresh start. Relentlessly lay those hurts at His feet and trust Him to remove the sting.
Bottom Line
I learned so much about forgiveness from the Lord, life experience, and counseling that I wrote an entire book on forgiveness. You can find that Bible study here. God’s Word transforms us, so here is 31-Day Bible Reading Plan about forgiveness that you can download free right now and get started today.
Forgiveness is not “giving in.” Forgiveness is a gift from God that He is waiting for you to open. In that promised land are freedom and new life. For you.
{Some of these links are affiliate links. This means if you make a purchase through that link, the ministry may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for your ministry support!}
Whether you are a new or seasoned Christian, knowing how to study the Bible and where to start are daunting tasks. Been there. Done that.
Technology allows us to have the Bible at our fingertips 24/7. Smartphones, tablets, and laptops enable us to access God’s Word just about anywhere in the world.
We can attend church online, listen to sermons and podcasts as we drive, or experience worship through music videos without leaving our homes.
The entire Bible is more accessible than at any other point in history, yet “How to Study the Bible” is searched online over 8,500 times each month.
Access to the Word of God is not the issue. Yet our knowledge of its contents is decreasing.
Where Do I Start?
I will say it again: knowing how to study the Bible and where to start are daunting tasks. Our spiritual growth stagnates the longer we wait. Many Christians lack practical tools to study the Bible effectively.
It takes time to incorporate a new habit, discover the best way to study, and the best study bibles to utilize on this new journey.
Studying Scripture changes our lives from the inside out. We learn how to love like God. Forgive like Jesus. And treat enemies with kindness. Counter-cultural to say the least.
Most importantly, the Bible reveals God’s beautiful truth that He sent His only Son to rescue us from sin, death, and the grave!
I first started studying Scripture after becoming a Christian at age 23. I did not know anything about the Bible. There’s an Old Testament and a New Testament? You get the gist.
I felt that my basic questions were off-putting to mature Christians. I lacked a good starting point, a good study bible, or a good direction on which steps to take first.
Over the past thirty years, God has cultivated in my daily life solid tools to study, memorize, and apply Scripture every day. I am passionate about biblical literacy.
Participating in church or small group Bible studies along with Sunday sermons is important. However, taking a personal lead in developing effective self-study methods stokes that flame of faith.
Some of these methods may work better for you than others. Invest some time trying each one to discover which works best for your personality and schedule.
First Things First: Start with Prayer
Scripture is God’s breath exhaled onto the page. Focusing your mind and thoughts on Him comes first and foremost. Always begin your study time with prayer.
Perhaps, one similar to this one:
Dear Lord, as I open my Bible today, open my heart to hear your words of truth. I pray that your Word comes alive in me. Remove all distractions right now. Open my mind to gain understanding as your words heal, teach, inspire, convict, and restore my heart. Enable your words to take root, grow and blossom in my life. Bring your light of understanding and peace that passes all understanding. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Method #1: Study One Book of the Bible
I suggest starting with a small book from the New Testament. The books of James, 1 Peter, and 1 John are all good choices for first-time studies.
Depending on your schedule, plan to spend 3-4 weeks studying the book you have chosen. Take time to read through the entire book more than once.
Look for themes that may be woven throughout the chapters. For example, the book of James contains an obvious theme of persevering through hard circumstances. Write down the verses around each theme.
Also, make a note of life application principles within the book. In James, a clear life application is that words need to result in action. Saying that we forgive is vastly different from moving toward forgiveness.
As you meditate on the themes and life application principles, allow God’s Word to speak to you personally. Where can those themes or applications apply to your life right now?
Method #2: Read Straight Through the Bible
Reading the Bible straight through (without taking notes) allows us to “hear” it like Israel’s nomadic tribes. Individuals did not have parchment, so the Bible stories were shared verbally.
Note that you do NOT have to start at the beginning of the Bible. The Bible contains 66 separate books compiled into one. You can start anywhere you like, just use a checklist to ensure you read through all 66.
Also, choose a Bible version that is easy to read. Let’s face it, if you don’t understand it, you won’t get far.
There are dozens of translations and different versions of God’s Word, but the King James version is probably the most difficult. For clear reading, I suggest the English Standard Version (ESV), New Living Translation (NLT), or The Message versions.
As you settle down for uninterrupted reading, imagine story time around an evening campfire. Or story time in the afternoon with milk and cookies. (That’s a flashback to elementary school.)
This method allows us to see and hear the overarching story of God’s love and goodness to His children from Genesis to Revelation. His passionate, relentless pursuit of us toward salvation comes across with beautiful clarity.
I have many different Bible reading plans and checklists as free downloads here.
Method #3: Write Out Parts of the Bible
Our culture moves at lightning speed. Since we are technologically driven (for the most part), we desire things to move fast – such as food, lines, and traffic.
Absorbing Scripture into the marrow of our bones takes time. Breathing space. Quiet surroundings. That’s where grabbing a pen, your Bible and a journal plays a vital role.
The rhythm of physically writing slows us down to absorb the words. Words have a chance to stick with us past the moment – especially if you want to memorize particular verses.
As an author, I love the steady cadence of writing out God’s Word. That cadence resounds in my soul to retain those life-giving words. I recently started once again with the book of Matthew.
Make writing fun! I use my favorite Tul pens and a variety of colorful journals that are readily available and inexpensive.
Method #4: Character Study
One of the most frequently asked questions is, “Who’s who in the Bible?” The follow-up question is usually, “Why do they matter?”
I love reading current biographies of historical great men and women because they lend insight into the person. Doing character studies throughout Scripture accomplishes much the same with an added bonus: we glimpse the character of Christ.
For instance, Scripture contains only two books named after women: Ruth and Esther. My quest to understand Esther using this method turned into a full-blown, published Bible study. Talk about an amazing woman of faith that God used mightily! We can learn invaluable life lessons from Esther.
Studying characters matters because their examples teach us how to actually live a life of faith:
Moses steadfastly led the Israelites through the desert for forty years.
Joseph never complained about being thrown into prison after refusing Potiphar’s wife.
Mary did not doubt when God told her that she would be the virgin mother of our Savior.
Character studies allow us to see how God moved in their life. How He provided for their needs, disciplined them toward success, and loved them beyond measure. He still does that today with you and me.
Pick one person and get started! You will be amazed at how relevant their experiences still are today.
Method #5: Topical Bible Study
This method is similar to the Character Study method listed above. However, instead of a person, pick a topic. Temptation, peace, addiction, and forgiveness are a few that could be tackled.
I remember as a new Christian being confused by what it meant to be “quenched” or “hydrated” by the Lord. What does “living water” mean? Years later, I used this topical Bible study method and turned that personal quest into another full-blown Bible study.
What topic do you long to know more about how God instructs His children? Use the concordance in the back of your Bible to find where that topic appears in Scripture. Then grab a notepad.
Read and/or write down all of those passages. What does God teach about that topic? Are common misconceptions debunked? Most importantly, meditate on how God can apply those truths to your spiritual journey.
Method #6: Memorize Scripture
Hiding God’s Word in our hearts is vital. When the enemy knocks us to the ground, God brings relevant verses to mind to comfort us and bring His peace. Scripture memorization is a crucial line of defense.
One of the first portions of Scripture I memorized was the Armor of God from Ephesians 6:10-18. The evil in this world is evident – just turn on the evening news. As His children, we need to know God has protected us from head to toe.
If you are facing a particular battle right now start with verses that speak to that situation. If you are experiencing joyful circumstances, start with passages that praise God. I wrote an entire Bible study on the armor of God because it is that important.
Yes, all of Scripture is worthy of memorizing. However, focusing on ones that directly apply to your current situation will be more meaningful. Memorization and real-time application will come easier.
Method #7: Bible Journaling (the SOAP Method)
A vital step in our faith journey is applying Scripture to our lives. A popular, helpful method appeared a few years ago called “S.O.A.P.” It stands for Scripture, Observation, Application, and Prayer.
I used this method effectively when writing The God of All Comfort based on 2 Corinthians 1:3-7. Paul teaches how God comforts us in our affliction, which enables us to also offer His compassionate comfort to others.
The S.O.A.P. method is simple. Pick a section of Scripture each morning or evening during your devotion time. Using a notepad or SOAP journal:
Write down the Scripture passage.
Read through it again and record your Observations.
Jot down how you can Apply those truths in your life.
Close with Prayer asking God to make that verse personal to you.
When you come across your S.O.A.P. journals later in life and read through them, you will be amazed and encouraged by God’s faithfulness along your journey.
Method #8: Single Word Study
Have you ever wondered what the Bible says about fear? Love? Humility? Kindness? Such wondering offers a perfect opportunity to undertake a single-word study.
When I experienced divorce over a decade ago, I did not feel very loved (to say the least). One of my pastors challenged me to read through the Bible and write out every passage that talked about God’s love. WOW!
That undertaking left me without a trace of doubt about how much God loves me, even when people may not. Writing all of those love passages consumed an entire journal. If I am ever feeling unloved, I still pull out that journal. I don’t feel unloved for long.
If you desire to be more kind, I challenge you to search for every instance in Scripture where God talks about kindness. Write them out in a journal. Ask the Lord to enable you to be more kind.
God will blow you away as He works through this discipline.
Method #9: Coloring Scripture (Bible Marginalia)
Bible marginalia appeared on the scene a few years ago and has exploded in popularity. If you are an artistic person, this method is a great tool.
The premise is to meditate on a Bible verse as you highlight, color, and create art around it.
Friends of mine have a hugely popular Visual Faith® Ministry. There are hundreds of free graphics and ideas (where I downloaded the one above) that include examples of how to highlight, color, and visually enhance your Bible reading experience.
The Bible is God’s inspired Word – a TEXT full of grace and love to you. Think of the margins as your invitation to text back your response of love, gratitude, praise, or devotion. Adding a date to your pages creates a story of your spiritual journey – and leaves behind a legacy of faith for your children and grandchildren.
The goal is to utilize your God-given artistic gifts to engage with and meditate on Scripture. Be sure to keep in mind the main purpose: meditate on that passage(s) as you use your artistic talents.
Method #10: Read Scripture Like a Novel
Right from Genesis 1, Scripture opens as an epic, cosmic tale about the heavens and the earth. We see God creating everything out of nothing. We see marital drama between Adam and Eve. Blessings and curses. Covenants. Promises. Murder. Adultery. Betrayal. War. Political subversion. Even cinematic-worthy battles.
If you are a writer or wannabe screenwriter, simply look at the account of David’s battle with Goliath in 1 Samuel 17. You can’t make that stuff up. It flat out reads like an award-winning novel.
There are main characters, metanarrative, and deep plot development that become clearer when reading the Bible like a novel. The settings are both intimate and dramatic. The important difference? Scripture is non-fiction.
The overarching message of the Bible becomes crystal clear: God’s love towards us never fails.
If you love stories, read through the Bible like a novel. Mentally insert yourself into those stories. Visualize your surroundings. See how God challenges and rescues. Scripture comes alive!
Method #11: Pray Through the Psalms
As a new 20-something Christian struggling with how God could love someone like me, a godly mentor pointed me to the Psalms.
The Psalms put into words the hurricane of thoughts whirling in my head that I could not verbalize. She suggested that I use the Psalms as a prayer guideline.
It was a spiritual game-changer.
Every emotion that we experience can be found in the Psalms. Anger. Love. Bitterness. Praise. Confusion. Hurt. Thanksgiving. You name it, and it’s in the Psalms.
This method can be written out in a prayer journal, as well as spoken aloud. Since prayer is spoken aloud, start by reading the psalm aloud. You will hear the emotion of each psalmist.
Why do emotions matter?
God created us with emotion to move our hearts and soul beyond our comfort zones. What emotions are in the psalm? The key to relating to the Psalms is putting yourself in the place of the psalmist. Speak as if you were writing it from your own experience. Joy. Heartbreak. Victory. Loss.
King David penned almost half of the psalms. He poured his heart out to God in his writing. And as he wrote, God’s peace and comfort faithfully surrounded him. And his writing reflected it.
As you pray the Psalms aloud, God’s peace and comfort also surround your everyday life. We are verbally handing over our worries and concerns to the only One who has the power to change them.
The Psalms are also infused with worship. Worship was an integral part of the Israelite’s life. Consequently, the Psalms overflow with adoration and worship of God. If your circumstances leave you without words to worship, speak those worship Psalms aloud.
Praying and worshiping through the Psalms continues to be one of the most powerful spiritual tools that God has given us.
Method #12: Pull Out Your Biblical Maps
Understanding the geography around Biblical stories adds an important layer to studying Scripture. Years ago, a friend gave me an ESV Bible Atlas as a birthday gift and it is never far from reach.
For example, when Jacob sent his favorite son Joseph to check on his shepherding brothers, a map reveals that Joseph’s journey was between 50-60 miles. Not just up the road! Such insights lend a greater understanding of the hardships and blessings of Biblical characters.
When you realize that the Sea of Galilee is only eight miles wide by twelve miles long, we can visualize how the crowds tracked Jesus’ boat as they followed Him along the shore to experience the miraculous feeding of the five thousand (Matthew 14:13-21).
I regularly lead tours through the Holy Land. One comment repeatedly stated is that they had no idea the close proximity of some locations to others. For instance, Magdala, Tiberius, Capernaum, and the Mount of Beatitudes can be seen from an anchored boat on the Sea of Galilee.
If you love maps, this is a very effective method of diving deeper into Scripture. Grab a Bible atlas, pick a story from Scripture, and track the character’s movements. This is particularly eye-opening in Exodus.
I have spent many hours lost in the pages of that Bible atlas seeing Scripture come to life through geography.
Method #13: Use Bible Flash Cards
Flashcards are not just for school students. As a bona fide lifelong learner, flashcards are an invaluable way to study Scripture.
When my Forgiveness Bible study was released, the publisher had the brilliant idea of offering Scripture memory cards as a companion study tool. I still keep those cards close as a reminder to keep a short account of hurts. Life is short. Forgiveness is commanded.
If you are new to the Bible in general, there are flashcards for learning the books of the Bible, significant characters, and even timelines.
This study method is a great resource if you do not have much daily time for in-depth study.
The Bottom Line
The Bible is our only true source of wisdom and knowledge. Regular studying of God’s Word provides a firm foundation to grow and strengthen your faith.
Remember to give yourself some grace as you study Scripture. You are learning the spiritual riches of a personal relationship with the Creator of the universe. It takes a lifetime.
The Bible is a life manual for all Christians. God’s Word is life-giving and life-changing. There is a reason that it is the world’s best-selling book of all time.
Above all, diligent Bible study will remind you time and again of the assurance of salvation through Jesus Christ alone. God bless your study time!
{Some of these links are affiliate links. This means if you make a purchase through that link, the ministry may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for your ministry support!}
“It happened, late one afternoon, when David arose from his couch and was walking on the roof of the king’s house, that he saw from the roof a woman bathing; and the woman was very beautiful” (2 Samuel 11:2, ESV).
Old Testament: King David’s Sin of Adultery
He was supposed to be out with the army. That’s what 2 Samuel 11:1 says about King David. But he decided to stay home.
He took a stroll along the rooftop and saw a beautiful young woman taking a bath. And he decided was “all in.” The rest, as they say, is history.
David lusted. Bathsheba succumbed, even though she was a married woman. David had Bathsheba’s husband Uriah murdered so he could marry her. Their sexual relationship resulted in a child. But God did not forget what took place. The price of David’s sexual immorality was the death penalty for their child.
The Collateral Damage of Adultery
So much collateral damage from one person’s act of adultery. David mistakenly thought that defiling Bathsheba’s marriage bed was above the reproach, law, or reprimand of a king.
Are you and I any different when we believe we have ultimate sovereignty over our own lives?
Adultery plagues our world today. The Ten Commandments are treated as suggestions. Whether we know a family member or friend who has suffered a wayward spouse, infidelity will likely affect every human being at one point or another.
Teachers feel the effects and consequences of adultery in their classrooms. Kids tend to act out or their grades suffer as they process the emotional hurricane caused by their parents’ divorces. Pastors’ and counselors’ schedules stay full as they walk the victims of adultery toward God’s healing.
I do not use the word “victim” lightly. That is what adultery feels like. I know. My ex-husband was a repeat offender. The one person to whom you opened your heart, body, and mind decided on some level that you were insufficient. Whether that insufficiency stems from within or is persuaded from without, it decimates intimacy. And it decimates marriages.
What is the Definition of Adultery?
Although spiritual adultery certainly happens, I am specifically talking about sexual sins. Webster defines adultery as: “voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than that person’s current spouse.”
If you have been the victim of adultery, you struggle with your identity in the world. Discarded. Less than. Not good enough. Those labels kept me up some nights. Yet Christ Jesus has given us a much more beautiful identity. Take time to memorize these Bible verses:
“But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12, ESV).
“See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is” (1 John 3:1-2, ESV).
Since our identity is in Christ, extending forgiveness to someone who has committed adultery is not optional.
So How Do We Begin the Process of Extending Forgiveness?
Forgiving the deep betrayal of adultery seems impossible. It is perfectly normal to ask God how you even begin such a daunting process. Your life just exploded and all you can see is the debris. That’s when professional Christian counselors become vital.
When our emotions are screaming for vengeance, entertaining thoughts of forgiveness seems impossible. We want to cast the first stone. We may be tempted to inflate the circumstances and bear false witness.
But as God’s children, with the Spirit of our God dwelling inside of us, we understand that we do not operate in our own strength:
“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31, ESV).
Holding on to unforgiveness creates a cage of anger and bitterness around our hearts. Taking the first step toward forgiving that betrayal is the first step to unlocking that cage toward freedom.
Adultery: One of the Hardest Acts to Forgive
Adultery ranks among the top significant hurts that are the most difficult to forgive. In fact, getting over such thing took me a solid year of counseling. Yet through the power of the Holy Spirit during that difficult time, God’s steadfast love won and forgiveness was extended.
If your marriage ended in divorce as a result of your spouse’s adultery and you are contemplating a second marriage, ensure that you have truly forgiven your ex-spouse. Otherwise, you will carry all of that ugly baggage, hurt, and bitterness into a new relationship. And that’s a recipe for disaster.
The same goes for an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend if you have engaged in premarital sex. If you are considering a new marriage (or getting married for the first time), the consequences of your ex’s lack of self-control will cause you to be suspicious of any future spouse.
New Testament: What Did Jesus Say About Forgiveness?
As Jesus was walking with His disciples in Luke 17, He paused by a sycamine tree to make a specific point about forgiveness. Why should we care about this tree and what does it have to do with forgiveness?
And the Lord said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you” (Luke 17:6, KJV).
The sycamine tree had a robust root structure that plunged deep into the desert soil to tap into underground water sources. Because of its deep roots, drought or sheering it off at the base posed little threat. It was incredibly difficult to eradicate once established. It would inevitably resurface.
Scripture talks about not allowing any bitterness to take root in our hearts because eradicating unforgiveness is incredibly difficult. It grows deep, watered by any offense that lies hidden in the soil of our hearts.
Left alone, unforgiveness will establish deep roots and produce bitter fruit that surfaces through angry thoughts, words, and deeds.
But there is more. Much more.
The Sycamine Tree and Unforgiveness
The spiritual parallels between unforgiveness and the properties of the sycamine tree are chilling.
Wood from the sycamine tree was the preferred material for building coffins and caskets.
Sycamine trees grew quickly and were readily available in many places. In fact, Egyptian archaeologists have discovered small boxes made from sycamine wood at the base of mummified sarcophagi. These sycamine boxes remained uncorrupted for at least 3,000 years.
Unforgiveness remains in us, corrupting our hearts and mind until we allow God access to eradicate it.
The sycamine tree was only pollinated by wasps.
The wasp stuck its stinger into the heart of the fruit to initiate the pollination process. The tree had to be “stung” in order to reproduce. Think of how many times you have heard someone say, “I’ve been stung by that person once, but I’m not going to be stung like that again!”
You can almost see the poison of unforgiveness pollinate every bitter word they utter. Can you hear the pounding of the casket maker’s hammers?
Finally, the sycamine tree was planted where two paths met.
Its large trunk and stout branches offered shade to travelers as they paused to decide which path to take. When you and I get hurt – emotionally, mentally, or spiritually – we stand at a crossroads.
We Have a Choice
We have the choice between the dark, burdensome spiritual death sentence of unforgiveness or the Son-drenched, freeing path of forgiveness. The choice really is ours.
As children of the living God, we must believe that the process of eradicating bitter roots is never a hopeless endeavor. Jesus told His disciples in Luke 17:6 that uprooting unforgiveness is possible if a person has the faith of a grain of mustard seed.
In Him is our only hope of freedom from destructive bitterness: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God” (Ephesians 2:8, ESV).
Since that gift of hope that the Apostle Paul talks about comes from God we have access to an abundant, unlimited supply of the poison’s antidote.
If you have ever signed a certificate of divorce, worn the label “divorced woman” or “divorced man”, the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and the blood He shed to redeem us gives us new life – eternal life. He alone is our best friend. In the kingdom of God, we wear the label, “redeemed.”
Regardless of how deep the hurt or how long we have let it reside, it is never too late to surrender our unforgiveness to God for permanent eradication.
In God’s hands, the casket maker’s career is short-lived.
I have written an entire Bible study on Forgiveness that you can find here, as well as a book/Bible study on surviving the thriving after divorce here.
{As an Amazon Associate I may earn from qualifying purchases. Photos are obtained from Unsplash.com}
He was supposed to be out with the army. That’s what 2 Samuel 11:1 says about King David.
But he decided to stay home.
He took a stroll along his rooftop and saw a beautiful woman taking a bath. And the rest, as they say, is history.
David lusted. Bathsheba succumbed. David ordered Bathsheba’s husband murdered so he could marry her. They had a child.
All seemed well. But God did not forget what took place. The price of David’s sin was the life of their child.
So much collateral damage from one person who thought he was above reproach, the law, or reprimand.
Are you and I any different?
Adultery plagues our world today. Whether you have been victimized by it or know a family member or friend who has suffered a wayward spouse, infidelity affects us all.
Infidelity frays the fabric of families.
Teachers feel the effects in their classrooms when kids act out or grades slip as they process the emotional hurricane caused by their parents’ divorces.
Pastors’ and counselors’ schedules stay full as they walk the victims of adultery toward God’s healing.
I don’t use the word victim lightly. That’s what adultery feels like.
The one person to whom you opened your heart, body, and mind decided on some level that you were insufficient. Whether that insufficiency stems from within or is persuaded from without, it decimates intimacy.
Adultery ranks among the top significant hurts that are the most difficult to forgive. But that’s not news. The real news is that “victim” is not our identity when we are in Christ.
And if we are in Christ, forgiveness is not optional. Ugh. Believe me, I understand how much that stinks to hear when you’re sleeping single in a double bed.
Forgiving the deep betrayal of adultery seems impossible. How do you even begin such a daunting process?
I asked that question several times. When our emotions are screaming for vengeance, entertaining thoughts of forgiveness seems impossible. But as God’s children, we do not operate in our own strength.
But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
If you’ve experienced adultery, you will feel weary and faint. But rely on HIS strength.
People question when I say, “Through gritted teeth, I asked God to help me forgive my ex-husband.” That’s because forgiveness is an intentional act of the will.
When I kept asking God to help me forgive my ex-husband instead of dwelling on his actions, God focused my thoughts on Him, not the hurt.
God sets our heart right when we focus on the Lord and surrender toxic emotions to Him. (Colossians 3:2, Proverbs 3:6).
So how do you walk toward forgiveness?
Begin with prayer. Pray for God to heal your shattered heart and mend your broken spirit. Over and over and over.
It may seem as if you’re trying to convince yourself that you’re worth such love. God says you are.
Healing takes endless hours poring through Scripture. The verses God used powerfully in my life during that time were Psalm 18:16–19.
No matter our hurt, its depth or its breadth, God rescues us. Why? Because “He delighted in me.” That’s it. No other credential necessary.
Your worth is not stained by those who hurt you.
Your lovability factor is not decreased by his or her actions.
You are completely and wholly loved by God regardless of external circumstances.
When we endure painful seasons, knowing that Christ is our strength gives purpose to our pain. God never wastes a hurt. He will use that brokenness for our good and His glory.
Forgiveness doesn’t let them off the hook. Forgiveness frees you from the narrative of hate.
Ask God to help you forgive your adulterous spouse.
Keep asking.
Not because God doesn’t hear you, but to keep your focus on Him.
Keep focused.
In Christ alone, you will find hope, healing, and the strength to forgive.
*This post is an excerpt from my new book, Forgiveness: Received From God, Extended to Others, available now.
When Demi Lovato’s album Unbroken released six years ago, the album title intrigued me.
At the time, I was struggling with anger following my divorce.
I don’t know much about Demi’s history or music, other than her incredible vocal range. I listened to the songs carefully to find out how she developed the album’s theme.
She wrote one of the songs to her dad, pleading for him to put down the alcohol and keep his selfish hands off his daughter. It broke my heart. How awful.
Suddenly the stories that circulated on the Internet over the years about Demi entering rehab for cutting and bulimia made sense. The powerless trying to regain control.
So what does this have to do with anger?
In the music video for that particular song, Demi demonstrates that she is using the power of success to overcome her painful past.
Paraphrased, Demi’s lyrics basically say, “Go ahead and try to tear me down, but I will rise from the ground like a skyscraper.”
It’s a popular mind-set in our culture that says, “If you hurt me, I don’t get angry and take revenge; I become successful to prove that you can’t hurt me anymore.”
However, such a mind-set is commonly driven by unresolved anger. We resolve to become indestructible skyscrapers, but have we dealt with what happened at the foundation?
God set the example by being slow to anger (Exodus 34:6, Psalm 30:5). Anger is a volatile emotion that must be handled with kid gloves.
One day during my divorce process, I telephoned my television cable provider to switch the service from both of our names to mine only.
The customer service representative could not seem to understand that my husband was unavailable to approve my request, even after telling her that my husband no longer lived in our home and would not be returning.
I reached the breaking point.
I shouted something about her being too deaf to hear and too dense to understand, slammed down the phone’s receiver, yanked the whole thing out of the wall, and threw it across the bedroom with all my might. It left a perfect, telephone-shaped hole in the sheet rock.
That was not a proud moment on many levels.
My over-the-top anger vividly taught me that anger can cause damage—literally. That day I asked God to remove those sharp, angry edges and begin the process of mending my heart.
I prayed for that poor customer service rep whose hair I set aflame and asked God’s forgiveness.
If you struggle with anger, it takes intentional time in prayer and God’s Word to remove it.
At one point during her video, Demi looks defiantly into the camera as if to say, “You tried to rip me down, but my sweetest revenge will be in-your-face success.”
That mind-set likely resonates with us at some level because all of us have been hurt. Whether someone betrayed a trust, shared a secret, or physically hurt us, we get it.
Sometimes we feel the need to prove that we can rise like a skyscraper above painful adversity.
But we will not find resurrection apart from Jesus.
Anger is appropriate if we’ve been hurt, but many of us take it further. Sometimes, we add coals of bitterness and resentment and stoke our anger with dreams of vengeance.
But the truth is that we never master the flame.
Fire doesn’t work that way. It doesn’t just scorch those who hurt you—it scorches you. Eventually, it will consume your life (Psalm 37:8).
Anger itself is not a sin. However, it may become sinful when excessive or prolonged.
When we hold on to anger and bitterness, the conflagration eventually destroys us from the inside out. Evil wins.
So how do we properly respond to our wounds when we are surrounded by an outrage-obsession culture?
We don’t resolve to throw telephones across the room or build skyscrapers.
We choose to forgive.
And only God gives us the strength for that hard task.
Forgiveness is the only way to extinguish the flames of anger and once again put your feet on the path toward joy.
Surrender your anger to God.
Let Him build a skyscraper of grace in your life, built on the foundation of forgiveness.
*This post is an excerpt from my new book, Forgiveness: Received from God, Extended to Others, available now.
Samson had an anger problem. Well, maybe he just never learned how to process anger well.
In Judges 15, an incident between Samson and his father-in-law eventually escalated into battles involving nations and the slaughter of thousands of innocent people.
All because of revenge.
When Samson returned home to his wife after a time away, he learned that his father-in-law (thinking Samson hated his wife) gave her to Samson’s companion. To add insult to injury, his father-in-law then offered his other daughter to Samson.
In a rage, Samson declared war on the Philistines (his father-in-law’s people) by torching their grain fields and olive orchards (Judges 15:1-5). The destruction affected the Philistines both economically and religiously, because they believed in gods of harvest, among others. In retaliatory revenge, the Philistines burned Samson’s wife and father-in-law to death (Judges 15:6). Ironic.
Samson vowed not to stop his rampage until he exacted revenge for his wife and father-in-law. He subsequently attacked and slaughtered many Philistines (Judges 15:7–8).
The Philistines retaliated by hunting down Samson, attacking the town of Lehi on the way. Three thousand men of Judah confronted the Philistines to ask why they were coming against them. When the Philistines named Samson as the culprit, the men of Judah found Samson and handed him over (Judges 15:9–13).
But Samson wasn’t finished. He picked up the jawbone of a donkey and killed one thousand men with it. One thousand men. All of this destruction and mayhem started with Samson, his father-in-law, and a goat.
Why are we so bent toward revenge? What is it that makes revenge alluring?
When it comes to revenge there are two basic types:
Active revenge: This kind of revenge moves aggressively toward our offenders. Perhaps a family member says something derogatory about your spouse. You immediately take offense and start telling the rest of the family about their many faults (whether secret or not). Active revenge always hurts far more people than we realize.
Passive revenge: This kind of revenge deceptively looks like forgiveness. Passive revenge does not move aggressively toward the offender, but takes the form of withholding, cold shoulders, or secretly celebrating when something negative happens to them. It is forgiveness lip service, not a genuine movement toward it.
Revenge tells God, “You’re in my seat.” When I choose to take revenge, I alone determine the severity of a person’s transgression, the proper method of punishment, and the time frame in which it needs to occur. Revenge inflates the ego because I alone determine that God is not moving fast enough or meting out what I believe is appropriate judgment. Consequently, I take matters into my own hands and execute judgment. Revenge means failing to entrust my wound to God’s justice.
Revenge always escalates. An offense can start with something as small as the rolling of eyes at someone’s behavior in a social setting. But it doesn’t end with reciprocated rolling eyes. It always escalates. Remember Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet? The feud between the Capulets and the Montagues was “bred on an airy [misspoken] word.” Multiple civil brawls later, Romeo and Juliet died in their efforts to be together.
Revenge always inflames and creates an inflated ego that says, “I have the right to pay back the hurt they inflicted on me.” And back and forth it goes.
Forgiveness begins when you drop the jawbone.
When you find yourself in a situation where there is a nonstop back and forth, decide to put down the jawbone of revenge and back away. Forgiveness starts by refusing to participate in the game and stepping forward to end it.
Maybe we need to ask ourselves how much revenge is enough until we feel better? until our anger subsides?
The anger we feel from pain makes revenge seem logical. But anger can escalate quickly into rage and even hatred. Anger is an impossible blockade on the road toward forgiveness. That blockade can be removed only when we surrender the underlying pain to God for healing.
God takes our pain on Himself, so use God as the lightning rod for your anger. The psalmists did exactly that in Psalms 7; 10; 17; and 28. God alone is our avenger. Remember Job? There are dozens of places in the book where Job unloads his anger, frustration, and wounds onto God, along with a little sarcasm (Job 10:3). God can take all of those emotions and knows best how to handle them.
When someone wrongs us, instead of groping for a verbal weapon, reach for the Word of God: “praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance” (Ephesians 6:18).
Instead of hitting our enemy, we can hit our knees. We can pray earnestly for God to heal our pain, remove our anger, and work forgiveness in us so we can extend it wholeheartedly to those who hurt us.
Instead of feeding our hurt, we can feed our heart. Relentlessly confess, repent, lay your hurt at His Table, and receive His forgiveness that refreshes.
God alone is our righter of wrongs. The power or responsibility does not lie with us (Romans 12:19).
Forgiveness relinquishes all rights to punish our wounders and give them over to Christ. God is a God of justice as much as a God of love. Forgiveness does not mean that our wounders get off the hook; it recognizes that we are not the righteous judge of sin. That authority belongs to Christ alone.
Follow Jesus, not the path of revenge.
Drop the jawbone.
It stinks to high heaven.
Literally.
**The winner of the Forgiveness book release giveaway is CAROL ALBERTS! I’ll reach out to you today, Carol. Congratulations and God’s blessings! **
These are the days when our culture seems to embrace rage. But we look around at the brokenness and perhaps we wonder … don’t we all need a whole lot more forgiveness?
We turn on the TV or scroll through social media and see drama-filled outrage over things that will be forgotten by dinner. And I can’t help but ask: why are we so angry? What cut our fuse so short that we’re constantly blasted and damaged?
Perhaps it’s time that we look each other in the eye and admit we need each other — that forgiveness paves a better way. A holier road.
But how do we handle the pain we can’t contain? those memories that track us down like blood hounds on a scent?
Maybe what overwhelms us the most is feeling like no one understands.
Forgiving gives life. Forgiveness restores freedom. Not for our offenders. For us.
I’ve lived the rage and know that forgiveness has radically transformed my life. When we trust Him, God can turn our anger into outrageous abundance.
After struggling and failing, and learning and growing, very slowly, I started to write. Does forgiveness make any sense in a raging world? In a raging heart?
Yes, it most certainly can.
And I didn’t even know if writing this made sense, so I reached out to people much wiser than I. They affirmed then, and they affirm now — if the world doesn’t see forgiveness from God’s people and among God’s people, they won’t see it at all.
I mean how can people learn if the examples are huddled and trembling behind locked doors like the disciples after Jesus was crucified?
So these wonderfully wise people, here’s what they said:
“Readers will want to grab a journal to document the lessons and Bible verses the author encourages readers to write down, helping to imprint God’s truths.” —Jan Wendorf, Past LWML President
“Donna…uses Scripture and beautiful language to remind us of the power of Jesus at work in us, making forgiveness in every relationship possible.” —Angie Goeke, author, musician, speaker
“She recognizes the losses involved in forgiveness and she doesn’t shy away from calling out the lies and cultural myths that stand as barriers to forgiveness and freedom.” —Heidi Goehmann, author, speaker, deaconess
“In this study Donna helps us better understand the forgiveness God lavishly offers to all through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, and how He desires for us to live forgiven and forgiving lives. ” —Rev. John and Debra Heckmann, St. Paul Lutheran Church, The Grove, Texas
“I wasn’t aware of the unforgiveness packed deep in my heart. … As I read the book I was better equipped to break through the walls that were built in my heart.” —Mia Koehne, Singer/Songwriter, Host of Aspire Women’s Event Tour
So I hold this book out to you with hope-filled hands, praying that God uses it to open the cages of rage and usher in the freedom of forgiveness. And to celebrate…
I’m giving away a grand prize to one lucky subscriber:
Two signed copies of Forgiveness: Received From God, Extended to Others (one to keep, one to share)
A brand new Kindle e-reader: black, 6-inch, Wi-Fi enabled, glare-free touch screen
A set of four Scripture mugs to share coffee with your Forgiveness study group
A $25 Amazon gift card
Two sets of Forgiveness scripture cards
TO WIN:
Subscribe to this blog (look to the right)
Comment below and let me hear your thoughts on the topic of forgiveness
Share this book release link and tag me on your social media channels (each share generates an additional entry)
The winner will be announced on Tuesday’s regularly-scheduled blog post.
I pray that God uses Forgiveness in ways only He can fathom or imagine to transform our raging culture to a forgiving one. It’s such an honor to serve you, friends. Thank you.
Join me tonight for a Facebook livestream book launch celebration!
