Why is God Making Me Wait for a Husband or Wife?

As someone who has been single, married, and single again, I can tell you firsthand that your single years matter. A lot. Like the Apostle Paul, you need a clear vision of the mindset and purpose of your single years.

God’s Word has much to say about singleness. In fact, Scripture refers to singleness as a gift. But why would God give you a gift that you may not want? 

Simply this: what we want is not always what is best for us right now. And what’s best for us is not something we always value and appreciate when we have it. 

You are single today. That may change one day. But what can you value and appreciate about your singleness right now?

Biblical View

What God has to say about your season of singleness is intended to affect the way you live. How you operate. What you focus on. Here’s how Paul put it:

I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” 1 Corinthians 7:7-9

You may read that and determine that you fall squarely in the “burn with passion” category. Bring on the future spouse! And that’s perfectly fine. That longing to pair up for as long as you both shall live is Genesis 2 stuff! It’s a godly longing.

However, there is much more to marriage than a romantic relationship. Even though sex with your spouse may be the best thing you do on a given day, it will not be how you spend the vast majority of your time as a married couple. 

You are single now and God calls it a gift. Why?

Singleness is a Gift from God

If your single season has lingered for years, you may start to wonder if God’s way for your life got misplaced on His heavenly “to-do” list.

As a Christian, you believe that God’s plan is perfect. However, you may struggle between the desires of your heart and God’s timing. 

The longer that you remain single, you may start to resent the gift of singleness. Perhaps you have always wanted children. You want to start a family and simply get on with the rest of your life with your true love. So again, why would God ordain singleness? 

Paul directly answers that burning question: “I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:34b-35

Two specific reasons are given for your single years: (1) to promote good order, and (2) to secure an undivided devotion to the Lord. Let’s look closely at those reasons.

To Promote Good Order

The Amplified Version says it like this: “to promote what is appropriate.” Appropriate is defined as that which is suitable or fitting for a particular occasion. What is appropriate for your single years?

What is “appropriate” fits the context of a given circumstance. Inappropriate would be wearing a string bikini at a family Christmas dinner with grandma. Nothing wrong with bikinis, but it’s inappropriate in that circumstance’s context.

In your singleness, God wants to promote what is appropriate in your context and environment. Counseling couples regarding marriage problems when you have no real-life experience does not fit your life’s context. What is your environment according to Scripture? 

This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.” (1 Corinthians 7:29-31, ESV)

Your environment is a fallen world. God reminds us here that being single or married is not the main storyline of your life. Sharing the hope of Jesus is every believer’s main storyline.

God is on the move to seek and save the lost. God sent His one and only Son Jesus Christ to provide certain hope for eternal life with Him. And He will leverage every season of every believer to accomplish it — including your season of singleness.

To Secure Your Undivided Devotion to the Lord

Single women and single men have a unique purpose. This life season is the appropriate time to develop a strong relationship with Christ without distraction. As a beloved child of God with His Holy Spirit active inside of you means living in a different way. 

Have you spent significant time in prayer ascertaining God’s call on your life? Singleness offers more free time than any other group of people, regardless of age. 

Whether you are twenty or eighty, now is the perfect time to devote a significant part of your energy to serving the Lord.

The Dating Process

Head into dating understanding that it is a process. It is not a social media “status” that you sit in for endless years. Dating is intended to progress you through the next step to finding that life partner. 

Dreaming of marriage is a godly pursuit so diligence in finding a godly man or godly woman is vital. 

However, if you spend endless hours scrolling through online Christian singles dating sites or hours at the local bar, ask yourself: Am I as diligent in investing that much time and energy to seek an intimate relationship with the Son of God?

Dating is great, but dating is distracting. Looking for the right person means being very aware of how you look, smell, and sound to the opposite sex. 

It’s no wonder that churches long ago sat women on one side of the church and men on the other! It can be hard to worship God wholeheartedly when a cute possibility sitting next to you smells fantastic.

Only God Meets All of Your Needs

Our culture is far more concerned about a person’s relationship status than the state of a person’s soul. Just look at any social media channel. 

It is alarming when someone says, “I’m looking for someone to complete me and make me whole.” It is emotionally, mentally, and spiritually dangerous when we look for a prince or princess to do what our King can do.

But you may be asking, “Can’t I serve the Lord married? My spouse and I will seek after God together! Why do I have to be single?” 

As a single person, you have much more discretionary time than a married person. Your waiting period holds a high calling and the clock is ticking. As Paul said, singleness is intended to secure an undivided devotion to the Lord. So, is it different for men versus women?

The Single Woman

 “The unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:34b)

There will be all kinds of things that please your husband that you have never had to worry or care about before that go beyond sexual intimacy. There may be a steep learning curve to manage his expectations. 

He may enter into marriage assuming that you will do certain things that his mom used to do for him, like cook a hot meal three times a day and keep a perpetually spotless home. He may expect you to be a financial co-earner, yet also be a PTA mom, carpool queen, and homework helper all while wearing high heels.

Marriage is great, but it can certainly be distracting. Paul reminds unmarried women to be anxious about things of the Lord without distraction. Your single season contains a significant purpose.

The Single Man

I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided.” (1 Corinthians 7:32-34a)

Similar to above, there will be all kinds of things that please your wife that you have never had to worry or care about that go beyond sexual intimacy. There may be a steep learning curve to manage her expectations, as well. 

She may enter into marriage assuming that you will provide financially like her father used to which allows for a certain lifestyle, like new cars, a big house, and exotic vacations. 

She may expect you to be the sole breadwinner while she remains at home with the children, yet also expects you to make time to attend all of your children’s sporting events, be home all weekend, and be consistently emotionally supportive.

Marriage is great, but it can certainly be distracting. Paul reminds unmarried men to be anxious about things of the Lord without distraction. Your single season contains a significant purpose.

It may sound like I am poo-pooing marriage. Not at all. I loved being married, sharing life, and cherishing that special someone. However, there is a tendency in every human being to devalue the benefits of their life stage and inflate the benefits of another. 

Don’t miss out on the benefits of your singleness that you will not have as a married person. Longing for something that God may or may not have ordained for your life is a thief of joy. 

Unique Benefits of Singleness

What you have now as a single person is freedom and time. Those are valuable resources that God gives to you in your singleness that will significantly decrease with marriage and parenting. So how will you leverage your freedom and time?

Being single again has allowed me the time to write a dozen Christian books and the freedom to travel the world to teach from Scripture. The vast majority of my discretionary time is spent studying God’s Word, researching for my next Bible study, and devoting significant prayer toward both.

A wonderful friend of over 25 years is nearing sixty years old and has remained single. Though she wanted to be married, she did not sit in a corner and mourn her life away. She is a smart professional and sold-out follower of Jesus who volunteers her free time to help others in various ways.

Your freedom has a purpose. Not to fill your time with distractions, but to pursue an undistracted devotion to the Lord.

What Defines Your Singleness?

Paul says that the unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. The unmarried woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. 

So the million-dollar question is simply this: Does that define your singleness?

As you take stock of how you spend your days and what you focus energy toward, is pursuing an undistracted devotion to the Lord at the top of your list?

If you find yourself frustrated in your singleness, you are missing the point of why you are single. It would be like playing golf without clubs. It’s confusing and doesn’t make sense. 

The most content single people I have ever met are the ones who understood that the purpose of their singleness was to secure an undistracted devotion to the Lord.

What Does Undistracted Devotion Look Like?

One of the daily practices that I have done for years is to write out books of the Bible. I type like the wind, think fast, and read fast, so I realized that the only way God’s Word would sink in past the blur was to slow down and handwrite books of the Bible a little bit at a time.

I also keep a journal. Even though daily events may slip in, the purpose of that journal is to reflect on what the Lord is teaching me. Where is He drawing my focus? What Bible passages does He keep bringing to mind? How do those things fit together? Where is He leading me?

I serve the Lord in my local congregation. Whether it’s teaching Bible class, serving refreshments as the need arises, attending women’s Bible classes, or partnering in mission work, God gives me great joy and fulfillment in the godly community of my church.

I carve out time to attend lectures at a local theological library. My podcast library is full of sermons by gifted teachers of God’s Word. My playlist is full of worship music that fuels my soul and prompts me to look up to the Lord.

I have been single again for thirteen years. I am more content, fulfilled, and at peace in the Lord than at any other time in my life bar none. 

I do not know if God has planned a happy marriage to a good Christian man for my future. But I know this beyond any shadow of doubt: if singleness defines the rest of my time on earth, it will be a rich blessing because I understand the purpose of my singleness.

Is Singleness More Spiritual?

The Apostle Paul offers this wisdom: “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:8-9).

You may determine that you’re burning with passion and it is your heart’s desire to pursue marriage intently. Or you may determine that you want to serve the Lord without distraction for the rest of your life and are open to remaining single. Jesus said this to His disciples: 

The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it” (Matthew 19:10-12).

If God has called you to singleness, He will give you the grace to receive and endure it. Like Jesus. Like Paul. Like me.

If God has called you to marriage, He will give you the grace to receive and endure it. Like Peter. Like your parents.

God’s Love and Wisdom

It is vital to grasp the bigger picture of the kingdom of God: “And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

All things include your season of singleness. If you believe that the Bible is true and accurate, you know that your heavenly Father is the embodiment of love and wisdom. He only desires good things for you. He has called you for a purpose, whether single, married, widowed, or divorced.

You can trust anything that comes from God’s hand. That includes your singleness, your love life, and any future relationship. Whether or not God has a future marriage in store for you, His good reasons will bring about great things.

The Bottom Line

An honest assessment of your spiritual life may reveal that God needs to do serious work in you before bringing a future husband or future wife into the mix. If so, hit pause on the dating game. 

Take six months to get your relationship with God right first. Invest your freedom and time living Romans 12:2: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

You may believe that your single season has dragged on far too long. Yet as a Christ follower, you know that God has your best interests in mind. 

Use this single season to develop an undistracted devotion to Him. That heavenly investment will significantly increase your life’s value.

Related Posts:

About the Author
Although Donna is a sought-after Bible teacher, her path from being unchurched to becoming passionate about sharing Jesus was not easy. Go here to read her God-breathed journey, “From Unchurched to Becoming a Multi-Published Author and Sought-After Speaker.” If you want to send Donna a quick message, then visit her contact page here.

{Some of these links are affiliate links. This means if you make a purchase through that link, the ministry may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for your support!}

15 Best Inspiring Books for Christian Moms (Gift Ideas)

Mother’s Day is fast approaching. While it seems like we do a lot to remember moms on that day, what about the other 364 days of the year? 

Let’s face facts. Moms have a LOT going on. Some days your to-do list far exceeds your bandwidth and hours in the day. Who you look to for strength matters.

There are inspirational Bible verses that remind moms of the love of God. There are inspirational stories that point us to the Good News of eternal life. 

But what about those moms who still have kids at home and are struggling just to survive the day? When she turns off her nightstand light, her mind still races producing a sleepless night.

You need more than inspirational quotes, Christian stories, or social media comparisons. You need the steadfast love of the Lord and the grace of Christ Jesus to settle deep in your soul.

Moms Matter – a LOT

You can easily feel like you are simply a grocery store fetcher, mess-up cleaner, and carpool guru wondering where your personal life went. 

The beautiful sacrifice that you make is more than a momentary affliction. The powerful message of God’s love is working in you to become one of His role models to the next generation.

Perhaps it has been a long time since you even had time to read a book besides the Bible. Perhaps you are a Sunday school teacher who reads the Word of God to teach from instead of soaking in.

If you still have children at home you are still in the trenches. You can certainly use the encouragement of God’s grace! 

Whether you have a little boy or a little girl or several of each, you need encouragement that you are doing the good work God has called you to do. 

Photo by Alex Pasarelu on Unsplash

Moms are Cultural Influencers

You have a vital influential role in our culture as you nurture and raise the next generation of leaders for our country and in the Church.

Here are 15 inspiring and encouraging books for Christian moms, in no particular order. And although I am not a mom, my three sisters and the vast majority of my friends have children of all ages. 

As a Christian writer, I am connected with many gifted writers. And most of them have children.

These are the book titles that they have mentioned to me over the years. They found them to be especially uplifting, encouraging or provided a new perspective in their crucial role as a mom.

Any one of these books would be the perfect gift for a special mom in your life (or even yourself) who could use biblical truths and encouragement from the God of hope on Mother’s Day. Here goes!

Pressing Pause

Whether you’re juggling a career, kids’ schedules, and church commitments or you’re covered in spit-up and anxious about what the next eighteen years might hold, you can carve out a few quiet moments to rejuvenate your spirit.

Pressing Pause: 100 Quiet Moments for Moms to Meet With Jesus focuses on moms who want to approach their lives today with a positive mindset and develop a closer relationship with God.

SNIPPET: Kids bickering? Schedule jam-packed? Dishes and laundry both piled up high? Perhaps it’s time you pressed pause and took a moment for yourself.

This book offers you a calm way to start your day, refresh yourself in Jesus, and drink deeply of His presence so that you are ready to pour out love, time, and energy into the people who matter most to you.


This book is for moms who love their children to the depths of their souls but who have also curled up under their covers, fighting back tears, and begging God for help.

Whether you are struggling through a difficult time or difficult situation, the love of Christ woven in your work of the Lord still wins.

Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe offers the story of one young mother’s honest account of the desperate feelings experienced in motherhood forged in the trenches of raising her four children.

Beyond great stories, she focuses on the greater love of God shining through your Christian faith.

SNIPPET: Whether you are a first-time mom or an experienced mom, this book will inspire you to be a part of the no-more-desperate-moms movement.

There are Bible study and journal exercises in each chapter that identify ways to grow as a mom, as well as mentoring for real-life situations.

Risen Motherhood

The authors began talking about motherhood on their podcast. They took some of that content and turned it into a book. 

Risen Motherhood is a wonderful resource for moms who still have kids under the age of 5. 

SNIPPET: You might think that Scripture doesn’t have much to say about the food you make for breakfast, how you view your postpartum body, or what school choice you make for your children.

But a deeper look reveals that the Bible provides the framework for finding answers to your specific questions about modern motherhood. We live in a world of five-step lists and silver-bullet solutions to becoming perfect parents.

If you feel pulled between high-fives and hard words, with culture’s solutions only raising more questions, you’re not alone.

The End of Me

This book does not pretend that motherhood is not hard. It offers honesty about the deeply challenging aspects of motherhood and how God works through them to make us more like his Son through the power of the Holy Spirit.

The End of Me offers encouragement to lean into and rely on the Lord’s strength when you reach your limitsphysically, mentally, and spiritually.

You will find that God will supply everything needed to cope with the daily sacrifices and challenges of motherhood to make you more like Christ.

SNIPPET: Coming to the end of who I was, and what motherhood was stripping me of, was a good thing that drove me to Christ and to the power that he supplies in every failure and weakness of motherhood.

This short, easy-to-read book encourages mothers to depend on Christ when they reach their limits. 

The Warrior We Call Mom

This book shows the connection between spiritual warfare and your role as a mother in order for your kids to experience an awakening of their own. 

The Warrior We Call Mom is a passionate call for moms to break out of the box of normal and dare to be led by the Spirit in their day-to-day parenting. 

SNIPPET: There is a spiritual war raging against the next generation. We look at biblical examples, including the mothers of Jesus, John the Baptist, Samuel, Moses, and Samson to empower mothers today.

The heart of a mother is to see her child serve God with passion, and this book will be the catalyst for that revival.

Walking With God in the Season of Motherhood

This is an 11-week devotional Bible study that moms with kids of any age can do by themselves or with others. It conveys how God’s imprint on a mom’s heart can make a lasting impression on their children. 

Walking With God in the Season of Motherhood teaches how to nourish your own heart, mind, and soul with the wisdom you need to become the mother you long to be.

SNIPPET: Each week offers four days of study geared specifically to a mother’s concerns, with the Bible passages already printed out for your convenience. The fifth day is a warm-hearted devotional reading to help you reflect on and apply the truths you’ve learned.

As your relationship with God deepens through prayer and studying His Word, you’ll discover how His imprint on your heart can make a lasting impression on your children.

10 Gifts of Heart

Written from the author’s 30+ years of motherhood, this book shares biblical wisdom and practical insights with mothers who want their children to grow into God’s plan in their daily lives.

10 Gifts of Heart: What Your Child Needs to Take Heart Before Leaving Home is filled with personal examples, engaging stories, practical suggestions, and heartfelt encouragement for moms in the thick of raising children. 

SNIPPET: Every parent wants their child to grow into a gracious and competent adult. Faith, character, manners, initiative, and gratitude that children need to take to heart before they leave home.

Yet parents today do not always have a clear vision for how to cultivate those traits. What does it look like for a mother to train her child’s heart to excellence and goodness?

A Mother’s Heart

Although this book was written in 1996, many women still mention it to moms who are in the early years of motherhood. It provides an inspiring look at motherhood from a Biblical perspective.

A Mother’s Heart looks at the values, vision, and character of the Christian mother as a “Pilgrimage Growth Guide.” It is perfect for the new stay-at-home mom or for veteran moms who want to re-envision what God called them to as mothers.

SNIPPET: Overwhelmed by the stress of parenting? This book reveals to women what it means to be a godly mother and offers encouragement to moms of all ages and backgrounds.

This book shows women how to distinguish between their role and God’s role in raising children. It explains how to take a spiritual inventory of a child’s life and how to pray effectively for children. 

Introverted Mom

Whether you’ve just realized you’re an introvert, or if you’ve known it all along, this book is for you. When the volume of family life clashes with your personality, frustration, guilt, and feeling overwhelmed naturally result. 

Introverted Mom offers vulnerable stories from the author’s own life as well as thoughts from other introverted mothers, letting you know you’re not alone.

It also includes valuable insights from four beloved writers: Laura Ingalls Wilder, Louisa May Alcott, Jane Austen, and L. M. Montgomery. 

SNIPPET: Life as Mom is LOUD, but you long for quiet. The author lifts the burden from your shoulders, reminding you that your steady strength is exactly what your family needs in this chaotic world.

It’s time to honor who you are and savor life as an introverted mom.

Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full

This book is great for moms of babies because each section can be easily read in just a few minutes. Motherhood is tough, and it often feels like the to-do list just gets longer and longer every day―making it hard to experience true joy in God, our children, and the Gospel.

Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full is comprised of helpful, short Gospel meditations for frazzled moms to reorient their vision of motherhood around what the Bible teaches.

SNIPPET: This encouraging book shows how to pursue a vibrant relationship with God even when discouragement sets in and the laundry still needs to be washed. This book will help you treasure Christ more deeply no matter how busy you are.

Devoted: Great Men and Their Godly Moms

This book is a fascinating historical look at the moms of famous men. This would be a great gift for a boy mom.

Devoted: Great Men and Their Godly Moms reveal women who were great theologians and Christ followers in their own right, yet whose only students were their own children.

 SNIPPET: Raising children to honor and glorify the Lord is the goal of every Christian mother, but how can you do that? Who can teach you?

One of the best ways to learn is to read examples of women who have succeeded at the very task you are attempting. We will learn together of Christian men and their godly moms, mothers who were used to shape the men who changed the world.

Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World

This book shares the author’s ups and downs in her own family’s journey of discovering why it’s healthiest not to give their kids everything. 

Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World reinforces the importance of teaching children the difference between “want” and “need” in a comparison-driven culture.

SNIPPET: It’s never too late to raise grateful kids. Learn how to cultivate a spirit of genuine appreciation and create a Jesus-centered home in which your kids don’t just say―but mean!―“thank you” for everything they have.

Humble Moms

This book zooms in on those moms who struggle with serving their children with their industrious hands, but their exhausted hearts have switched to auto-pilot.

Humble Moms: How the Work of Christ Sustains the Work of Motherhood reaches down deep to encourage exhausted moms with life-giving meditations on Jesus.

SNIPPET: As you journey through the life and work of Christ, you’ll find that your life and work as a mom are sustained in the process.

It is truly possible for moms to have hands and hearts that look like Jesus. Take in all that Christ is for you—and you’ll find that His heart and posture are changing yours.

Expect Something Beautiful

This book offers a renewed vision of motherhood: to see afresh God’s good purpose for you as a mother, a woman, and a follower of Christ.

Expect Something Beautiful: Finding God’s Good Gifts in Motherhood encourages moms to expect something more out of motherhood—something truly beautiful. 

SNIPPET: Are you pouring out your life for God and others while getting little in return except for the consolation that you’ve done the right thing?

This book helps you see that behind all the giving that mothers do is the receiving of something special—a profound growth in God that is cultivated through motherhood’s everyday ups and downs.

Missional Motherhood

This book seeks to encourage moms on how to care for their children’s spiritual needs as well as their physical care. 

Missional Motherhood: The Everyday Ministry of Motherhood and the Grand Plan of God dives past the routine tasks of motherhood to see God’s eternal purpose.

SNIPPET: There’s no such thing as “just” a mom. Despite the routine tasks and mundane to-do lists, motherhood is anything but insignificant.

God has designed motherhood as part of His greater plan to draw people to Himself―instilling all women, whether called to traditional mothering or not, with an eternal purpose in nurturing others.

The Bottom Line

Looking around at the state of the world, moms have a greater challenge than ever in raising godly children. Culture, social media, and the influence of friends have much to say about how children live. 

But those influencers usually do not line up with what God holds as important. Encourage the moms in your life today with one or more of these books to encourage them in the battle.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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About the Author

Although Donna is a sought-after Bible teacher, her path from being unchurched to being passionate about sharing Jesus was not easy. Go here to read her God-breathed journey, “From Unchurched to Becoming a Multi-Published Author and Sought-After Speaker.” If you want to send Donna a quick message, then visit her contact page here.

{Some of these links are affiliate links. The ministry may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase through that link.}